where do you place your identity?

I have been thinking quite a bit on identity. The more that I think about identity, I realize how much I tend to wrap my identity in things of this world such as my job, the groups I'm apart of, my relationship status, how many friends I have, clothes, my interests etc. Putting identity in these things helps one feel loved, accepted and wanted. 

So you're probably wondering.. Meg, where are you going with this and what is our true identity? 

To me, true identity is where I am ultimately accepted by a group of people and I'm able to fully be myself. When I was in highschool, I tried to put my identity in different groups such as band or the buddhist youth group that I was apart of. As much as I tried to find acceptance and worth in these groups, it seemed as if I had to change who I was to "fit in." I was completely lost. I had a hard time finding personality and alot of that stemmed from unworthiness, shame and the sense of feeling completely and utterly unloved and unaccepted. Maybe you could relate. Maybe you were that one girl that wanted to be apart of the "popular" clique or maybe you tried everything in your will power to be chosen in that sorority. 

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself.

Why am I trying to find acceptance in ___________________?

Does it give me life? 

Do I feel loved by _____________?

Am I wanted by _______________? 

Whatever you are thinking or processing, know this: 

You are loved. You are wanted. You are accepted. 

15 While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. 16 When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

17 On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:15-17 

Jesus was perfect, blameless and righteous yet he chose to sit down with sinners and have dinner with them. The same goes for us. We are sinners yet Christ died to give us life. He chose to sit down and know you. Even as sinful as we are, he accepts and picks us up exactly where we're at to simply give us identity and life. In Christ, we are accepted just as we are and from there our recognition that we are in need of a savior comes into play. We realize that our old self has past and our new self has come. We are made new in Christ and with him we are able to experience true life and acceptance because our identity is wrapped in the simple truth that Jesus died to give us life and that it was an act to reconcile us back to the one and true living God. Because we are reconciled back to him, we are able to fully embrace the fact that we have a relationship with him and we have full access to receiving everything he has for us. 

So embrace the fact that you were saved by grace and that he ultimately loves you! That is where our ultimate identity derives from.. Jesus. 

So where are you placing your identity?

you are beautiful!

I have taken a long hiatus from my blog but I am back! 

To all my girls/ sisters: 

I read a blog about natural beauty today. It really struck a cord with me. I've felt insecure, ashamed and plain ugly. Maybe you can relate. It's something I've been wrestling since childhood. You see, I am one who barely wears make up mainly because it doesn't represent who I am as a person. I don't naturally have red lips, cat eyes or Barbie doll eye lashes. Don't get me wrong, I love getting dolled up here and there but I'm more concerned with sharing light with others than my outer appearance. I wanted to share this photo with you because it represents the real me. No makeup, no duck face, no camera angles, no poses and no filters. I am made and formed by the Highest of highs and he loves me. So with that being said, I can walk confidently in who I am created to be instead of what this world expects of me. Isaiah 43 & psalm 139. 

ISAIAH 43:1 
But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.

PSALM 139: 13-18 

13For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

15My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

17How precious to me are your thoughts,^a God!

How vast is the sum of them!

18Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand—

when I awake, I am still with you.

YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful. You don't have to mask yourself with all of this nonsense. You don't have to give into peer pressure or any of that mess. WHY? Because, God DELIGHTS in you. HE cares for you and all he wants to do is shine his glory through you! All you have to do is BE YOURSELF. For real, He doesn't need you to act like everything is okay. You don't have to put on a show or act IGNORANT. He loves your messes. He loves fixing them. WHY? BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU. He wants you to grow in him. HE wants all of you! Song of Solomon: (I am my beloved's and he is mine." You are his beloved and he absolutely adores you. 

There are many days that I come home from work and I'm absolutely exhausted. I'm grumpy, tired, unpleasant and hard to deal with and what's the first thing God does? He showers me with his abundant love. That is real. When the bible says Love is patient. Replace the word love with Jesus and then see how THAT places out in your life. Goodness gracious do you see his patience with you. I am absolutely captivated with that truth. 

Praying, praying, praying that your eyes are open to such that is Jesus. 

Know that He created you and formed you uniquely, wonderfully and fearfully made! 

-me 

steadfast.

stead·fast

adj.

1. Fixed or unchanging; steady.

2. Firmly loyal or constant; unswerving. 

I have noticed this word all throughout scripture but it's never been so relevant to me than in this particular season of my life. God has shown me his steadfast love from the beginning of time. But, it's taken me up until now to truly understand his constant, never changing love for me. I've messed up many times.  I've placed other thoughts, ideas, people before God. I've disobeyed him intentionally and I've doubted him so many times. YET, I read a verse like this: "Your steadfast love endures forever." So I ask for forgiveness and repentance. His response is " I'm always here. I'll always be here." Those words have changed the course of my life. When everything around me is failing or I feel like no one cares about me, God has showed me that He has always and always will love me. That love is steady, constant, true and UNFAILING. Every time that I have failed, I turn my eyes back on the Lord and He reveals himself with this tangible unshakable love! 

Then I find myself worshiping, praising and praying more. My love for the Lord increases and I find that everything else in this world will fade-- except for Him. So then, I get down on my knees and surrender my life, my dreams, my future to the ONE who holds my life in his hands. 

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; 23 they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 

In Psalm 136 (His steadfast love endures forever) , the word steadfast is mentioned 27 times. That's alot for just one word. And that's only in one psalm. It's so easy to overlook this word because it's mentioned so many times. But, when we stop and think about how much the Lord wants to know HIS STEADFAST, UNSHAKABLE love, something in us starts changing and we start trusting in him.

This may be a small example but it has everything to do with this topic. I got sick yesterday with food poisoning. I was at home all by myself and it was undeniably awful and terrible.  I was scared. 

The only thing that I could do was pray that the Lord would heal me. I felt alone, helpless and weak. With one touch, I heard him say, "I'm right here and I love you." Even though I felt this way, The Lord never let me go. And indeed, he DID take care of me. :) 

 Here's another example. Look at this illustration. When an infant is sick, does the parent walk away and say take care of yourself? No! That's silly. Instead, they run towards their child and do everything they can to take care of their baby. That's how God is with us. He is steadfast. Ponder on these words and let it sink into the depths of your heart/soul/strength and mind. 

It will change you from the inside out. 

Friend, His love for you is steadfast no matter what you're going through or what you've done. 

Praise be to He. {Jesus} 

Your sister, 

M 

God the Father & other things related.

I watched a documentary called somewhere in between yesterday afternoon about these native chinese girls being adopted to American families in the states. They talked about their struggles, fears but also their hopes and victories. It was a raw and authentic documentary courtesy of Netflix. I encourage you to watch it especially if you are called or considering adoption. So you ask, Meagan, what does this have to do with God the Father?" My response: everything. Sit back, hold on tight and keep reading. 
There was a scene in the movie where one of the girls decides to go back to China and find her birth family. Well, it turns out that she did find them. As soon as her birth dad sees her,  he starts weeping, hugs and welcomes her in. Note: the girl doesn't speak chinese; therefore, she could not communicate to her family very well. Not to mention the fact that she had never met them prior to this reunion. It was almost as if they were strangers. YET, they welcomed her in like she had been there her whole life. This immediately reminded me of that moment when God took me into family. Even though I was sinful, weak, helpless and barely knew who God was-- He welcomed me in like I was always apart of the family.  

^{5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. ⁶ So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.^[b] 7 He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. ⁸ He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.} Ephesians 1:5-7 

He adopted us into the kingdom to be children, ambassadors, heirs to a Holy, great, worthy, loving God. There is so much substance and depth to the fact that God chose us to be people who represent Him. But before we know our role as His children, we need to know Him as Abba father.  

When thinking about God as Father, I get an image of myself as a child being scared of the monsters under my bed, running to my earthly father's arms and sitting on his lap as he embraces and holds me tight. God is the exact same way. When there is something going on, fears, anxiety that overwhelm us; God wants to be there to care for us. He wants to hold us in His lap like a father would with his child. When something or someone is bothering us, our dads are the first ones to defend and protect us. They're the first to jump out of their seats and take control. God is the same way! He is protective, stern and jealous for his children. Yet, He gives these amazing papa bear hugs and cuddles that are filled with kindness and love that surpass any hugs from any earthly beings. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about my earthly dad is the fact that he is a handy man. He is quick on his feet to fix anything for you anytime, anywhere. He doesn't care how far he needs to drive to get to you. He doesn't care what He has to sacrifice to help you when something breaks down. I think God is a handy man too. He's an expert at repairing broken things and makes them new. His eyes are filled with fire yet He's the most gentle and sweet person you could ever know. 

Beloved, I know that some of you have been in corrupt, abusive, non existent, fatherless homes but our Father God is just the opposite. He chose you before time began. He wants you to take your cares and burdens to Him because He knows exactly what to do.

[Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, ⁷ casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7]

Get to know your Father. It is worth it trust me, beloved. 

M 

tharseo: to be of good cheer.

Life can throw curve balls at you sometimes. How do you handle tough situations in your life? Stress? Trials?  What are your tendencies in those circumstances? I'm going to give you an inside look in how I handle it and how the Lord has walked patiently with me through all of this. :) 
I tend to run away from situations that I know I'm not capable of handling. I am notorious for suppressing my feelings and (try to forget them) instead of bringing it to the only One who can heal and set me free. It was almost as if I forgot about the cross and what Jesus did for me that I would just get overwhelmed and carry fear, anxiety and hopelessness. I had created space and distance between us. 

BUT, He is patient, waiting for me to come back to him. Because of God's grace, He has given us love, joy and hope because of what Jesus did for us on the cross. I had to go back to that simple truth. That He is enough for me-- that the challenges that I face in life are used for His glory. I have to choose to operate in that instilled joy that Jesus had placed in my heart when He saved me. 

Here's how I handled my problems vs. a heart check from Jesus 

Lie: I was making decisions based on the way I felt. 
Truth: My feelings don't determine my steps. 

Lie: I tried to hide my feelings from God. 
Truth: God knows my heart. He's near to me. He cares. 

Lie:  I tried to run away from the Lord. 
Truth:  He placed peace in my heart I ran towards HIM. 

Lie: I was so afraid of what was in front of me
Truth: God called me to be courageous and have strength. 

Lie: I hated the circumstances in my life. 
Truth: I delight in Jesus. He is taking me through these things and because I have him, i have joy. And with that being said, it is a blessing to go through these things with Jesus.

Lie: I had to carry the burden. 
Truth: No I didn't, Jesus already did that! 

 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will havetribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. 
John 16:33

Find encouragement in him today. He loves giving it to you!  Take heart. Know that He is for you and not against you. Come to him. Draw near to his heart because his love for you is so deep. Seek Him-- 


// i am confident neither life nor death can keep me from the love of christ. though i cannot see... my heart still believes that I am filled with joy. I feel his love running in on the inside of me. all those years been in shame he is setting me free. His love goes deeper than the pain I feel His love goes deeper than depression and fear // 

He will give you peace. Live in joy. freedom. and love. no matter the circumstance. Jesus is big enough. 

Your sister, 

M

"blessed are those who wait"

There's a lot of different directions I could go with this but the Lord pointed me to one very significant verse in psalm 37 that caught my attention. 
It reads: 

verse 7- 
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; 
fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, 
over the man who carries out evil devices! 

Disclaimer: 

You may not relate to the following story at all,  but hey maybe you would. ;)  

I've learned so much about myself in my relationship with God and one of those things is the fact that I am a very antsy! I am in constant motion. I can't sit in one place for an extended amount of time because I'm always in a consistent wave of motion. Call me ADHD! Classify me, why don't ya! I always have to be going somewhere, doing something, something, something, something!  

My mind is the worst. It's always going 99 miles per hour switching from subject to subject. It's ridiculous and I can't stop it! Then, I find myself in a whirlwind of chaos and craziness because I was trying to find all the answers alone and make things happen by myself. It was in that moment that I realized how much I needed to just sit still and exhale. 

First of all, I had to remember that I am not the Creator. I am simply a vessel. I don't have all the answers but praise Jesus, I know the One who knows. //Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4// This gives me absolute joy and PEACE because it is up to Him. He is the Artist who can paint way better and more beautiful paintings than I can ever paint. 

Secondly, the application part.. ACTUALLY sitting down before the Lord (by myself) and soaking in his goodness and peace. When I acknowledge His presence, something in me starts changing. Even, if it's 5 minutes (you gotta start somewhere!) And the more that you get yourself in this place, you'll find yourself not so frantic, worried and busy! 

Third, be confident in the fact that God has a plan for your life. Again, He's the painter, you're not.  Trust me, I've sunken into the plethora of lies that have detoured me from truly believing the best for my life. It may not come in the timing that you were hoping, but we have to realize that our life isn't to bring us glory, it's to bring HIS name glory! 

When you come to this revelation, everything starts changing. You see things in a different light and the desires ad wants that you once desired starts fading away and His desires start piercing through your heart. It is a beautiful thing. Take it and run with it. 

Once you realize the character of God and the hope that He is working on this beautiful painting which is you and the purpose he has called you to, it makes waiting patiently for him and his timing much more bearable and worth it.

Whether it's waiting at a traffic light, grocery store, that next life step (spouse, family, babies) , a purpose, a break through, an adventure or just Jesus; be patient, put God first, seek him and let him move in your life. 

{I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

    and in his word I hope;

   my soul waits for the Lord

    more than watchmen for the morning,

    more than watchmen for the morning.}

Psalm 130:6 

Trust Him. He knows what He's doing. And remember to breathe! This is not a race, it's a process. 

For his glory, 

M 

Relentless Love

Feelings and emotions are apart of life. I think that the Lord  uses those feelings to help us understand his love for us. It's such a beautiful thing to know that the Creator of the universe really cares about those moments obscurity, anger, the fear of the unknown, loneliness, shame, guilt etc. In these times, I am reminded of one word: relentless. 

 Some synonyms for relentless are words such as persistent, continuing, constant, continual, continuous, nonstop,never-ending, unforgiving,unyielding ferocious, ruthless, uncompromising. 

When I think about God and I think about these words, I am immediately taken back because I am reminded of how He's already paid the price for me. He fought for me even before I was born. When it seems like all hope is gone, that everything seems dead, dry and defeated; His promise reigns true. Don't get me wrong, God has many promises for his children. But the biggest promise and truth that we can remember is this. God is constant. He is persistent. He is the same yesterday as he is today. (Hebrews 13:8) That promise is filled with peace and hope. Every time I am feeling low, hurt or attacked I can run back to the arms of the Father. And his arms are wide open softly telling me "I am always here."

His love is not performance based. 

Instead it's fierce, unshaken, unconditional. 

Romans 8:38-39

[For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.]

How gracious is our father that He will never ever relent on us. He won't just up and leave when things get ugly or weird. Instead he reminds us of the covenant he had made with us. The one where He writes your name on his hand? Yeah, that's right. You are His, He is yours. 

I pray that you would experience God's love today. Anything that is hindering you to receive, I ask that the Lord would remove that and replace it with his love. In Jesus Name. I encourage you to go to Him with your issues and feelings because he really cares about even the number of hairs on your head! 
{O God, God of Israel, there is no God like you in the skies above or on the earth below who unswervingly keeps covenant with his servants and relentlessly loves them as they sincerely live in obedience to your way. You kept your word to David my father, your personal word. You did exactly what you promised—every detail. The proof is before us today! 1 Kings 8:22-25 MSG}

Solomon was praying at the alter in the presence of the Lord because He was simply overwhelmed by God's love. May we continue to press into Him like Solomon did in this passage! 

Be blessed! 

M

credits: Pastor Bryan Houston- Relentless love Part 1 & Biblegateway.com and bethel music photo